Brunch(es)

This morning I had two brunches--one at Dolores Park Church (which I am starting to get into the practice of reattending) and one at the Storey-Cuddeback's house, celebrating their daughter, Sara's graduation. Both were really nice and I just feel so blessed to have these families who let me be a part of their lives. It's fun having three pseudo-younger sisters--Tali (who I teach violin to), Sara (Tali's sister, who I drive to soccer), and their friend Becca (who also graduated and who I drive to soccer). Becca's mom, Laurie offered their guest room to me in August once my lease runs up which I may take them up on in exchange for a meal here and there. Tonight Laure is taking me to a concert (some band she thinks I'll like) in Nob Hill for my birthday. And last night I had a great time playing cards with Chris and Dominique until the wee hours. I guess I'm just feeling generally blessed today.

Focus...

I feel I am in a transition period; no, I know I am. And while this could be liberating, I am feeling too free almost--like I am on the verge of being overwhelmed with the freedom given to me. It is now up to me to determine my direction as I rise from bed each morning; the things I will choose to read, to learn, to value. I think I am finally an adult and that takes getting used to. Though I have really only had a few days of summer (not counting my getaway to those states with their lakes and large clouds) I am trying to immediately develop the habits that I have longed to have but never formed because school or life always got in the way. I am finally free to work on me. And I am simultaneously filled with excitement and trepidation; experiencing both a calm understanding of what it is I must do and a steady anxiety over finding myself walking on foreign ground offering alien foliage and new vantage points.

I think if I can remove the anxiety, life will be as it is supposed to be. Though I guess it is always as it is supposed to be, with its phases of transition and steadiness, peaks and troughs--it is solely a matter of us understanding this and embracing our experiences. Certainly easier said than done!

My younger brother gave this to me; and I was both humbled (by him) and proud (of him):

'Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.'
Philippians 4:6-9

La comienza

"For here, there is no place that does not see you. You must change your life."
--Rainer Maria Rilke


(Self-portrait, Reflection in Weisman window taken 5 June 2007)

Two good weekends in a row

I'm a lucky girl with good friends. These past two weekends were special in that I got the opportunity to see Moni and Eriks; last week was spent in Tahoe with Mon and this weekend in SF with Eriks. Good times all around. I don't really feel like going into detail about either weekend just yet, but I'll leave you with this random video of a monkey washing a cat to the theme of Superman that I came across while searching for one of a cat wash (comparable to a car wash) that Andy told me about.
laters

aaaaahhhh

I am wasting my life away on the internet I need to go to bed. But my mind is going CRAZY right now (in the best of ways with story ideas) but I'm too lazy to write them right now...sheesh. Maybe I'll just read Kafka (I got a great collection of his short stories at green apple) but I'll leave you with this before i go:

hehehe

Profuse apologies

for being so dramatic last post. Life seemed a whole lot better once I got out of the house and rode my beautiful red bike to school to listen to Mark Andrews' presentation (he's awesome--works for pixar and worked on The Incredibles and directed the short One Man Band). Then I worked...walked dogs, cooked, babysat and rented Slither with Andy which was hilarious...super (intentionally) over the top scary movie. Good times.
Yesterday I woke up early to pick up my new glasses , had my first Catholic Trad. II class which actually should be good as the prof. is young and interesting and it's going to be more focused on ethics than actual Catholic practice. Though he did use all four hours of the class (I thought because it was the first class we'd get out early) which meant that I was a bit late and rushed to get to the Cartoon Art Museum. After working 3 hours with Summerlea I went to Hillary's game (UCSD) against SFState. It was really fun to see her parents and watch her, especially since this is her last game that I will have the chance of seeing! She did amazingly well and they won so all was good...until as I was walking to my car I dropped my phone and it died. Luckily I can still use my old phone, because though the new (dead) one still receives calls, it has no screen. Then I talked to Moni forever which was great (though we wer etalking about not great things that she's going through) and then I went to bed. And now I have to go pick up my contacts (FINALLY) and my lab manual for astronomy. adios.

Today is just one of those days...

or maybe yesterday was and it's making today feel that way where I am just tired of people in general and of being a people...err person rather. I'm sure everyone encounters this feeling sometimes; or maybe they don't and I am just weird and unnecessarily analytical. I am cyclically feeling this extreme loneliness while at the same time an inability to escape everyone around me and even myself long enough to even have a logical thought, co-mingled with a slight disgust (the kind one might feel picking up after a dog and catching the subtle yet sickening scent of excretion poisoning the air) with the human race--with our fickleness and dishonesty and obsession with things that don't really matter at all.
And then I tell myself "Who you to say what really matters considering you are only one of an entire species on a planet in a solar system that is one in a hundred billion in a galaxy that is one in a hundred billion plus some in the observable universe?"
But if nothing matters, why does it feel like some things matter more than others and why do I so often feel I am being dragged down into the muck, continually disillusioned by what I have heard makes life worth living? But then again, who am I to say one route is more apt to lead to a true state of happiness and goodness and light over the rest. Maybe life is all just a matter of survival and we (including me) are just too damn self-centered to see this.

First Day of the Last Semester

So today was my first day of my final semester in undergrad and it was gorgeous...well classes were far from that, but the weather was lovely, and as I walked onto campus, between the sun and the youts all about chatting, lying on the grass, etc., it was just, well, really nice. And then I went to the bookstore, where inevitably there was a line a bajillion miles long and I had to pay $130 for three books. No, not even. Technically it was two books, a workbook and a clicker. That's right, I paid $33 exactly for what looks like the remote control that came with the cd/tape/radio console I got in fifth grade from Santa. Apparently we are too technologically advanced to participate in class and take quizzes the old fashioned way, and instead will answer questions with our remotes. I realize my Astronomy class has some 50+ people, but really? The greatest point in the class was when my Prof., who was talking about how she would allow for four unexcused absences, with the rationale that "Life happens...you get sick, you forget your clicker..."

At least my prof. for that class seems into it and nice, though she misplaces the accent on certain words like...well now I can't think of any, but it would be comparable to someone saying in-TRO-duce instead of in-tro-DUCE. And she says "schhhhhedule." But other than that she seems pretty cool.

I didn't have lab today after Astronomy since it's the first week, so I taught Tali instead--she's really getting good which makes our little practice sessions quite fun, even challenging, for me. Then I went to my internship class which was kind of boring and longer than it needed to be, though I like the people in it. After I drove home and jogged back to school where I met Amanda for the second half of the USF basketball game. Her dad has season tickets and we had great seats. They played Santa Clara and overall it was a close game, but it ended super painfully. There were 9 seconds left and we had the ball and only needed a 3-pointer to pull to the lead, and then Armondo slipped and dropped the ball and the game was lost. Too bad.

Now I'm home and I think I'm going to get ready for bed as tomorrow is my first day at my Cartoon Art Museum internship and I want to get up early to go running while we're still having this cold but clear weather.

Before I don't do it

and get too busy with work and school and such, here are my favorite photographs and pictures from the Hardy brother's desert house, San Quintin, and Bahia de Los Angeles. I've always felt there is a difference between "photographs" and "pictures," with the former being more artistic (and perhaps more pretentious), but whatever the case, these are from the little aventura I went on with my family over winter break. They're not in the order I would like them to be, but I'll save that for another day.

Flash Slideshow

Transition

It is easier to keep everything in one place. And I will not journal if it is not set up. And I know I will need to journal this semester. So I have set it up and it is ready, and I am too tired to write a noteworthy first post. Tomorrow is the first day of my last semester in college and I do not feel much of anything about it, other than that it is there and I am where I am supposed to be.