or maybe yesterday was and it's making today feel that way where I am just tired of people in general and of being a people...err person rather. I'm sure everyone encounters this feeling sometimes; or maybe they don't and I am just weird and unnecessarily analytical. I am cyclically feeling this extreme loneliness while at the same time an inability to escape everyone around me and even myself long enough to even have a logical thought, co-mingled with a slight disgust (the kind one might feel picking up after a dog and catching the subtle yet sickening scent of excretion poisoning the air) with the human race--with our fickleness and dishonesty and obsession with things that don't really matter at all.
And then I tell myself "Who you to say what really matters considering you are only one of an entire species on a planet in a solar system that is one in a hundred billion in a galaxy that is one in a hundred billion plus some in the observable universe?"
But if nothing matters, why does it feel like some things matter more than others and why do I so often feel I am being dragged down into the muck, continually disillusioned by what I have heard makes life worth living? But then again, who am I to say one route is more apt to lead to a true state of happiness and goodness and light over the rest. Maybe life is all just a matter of survival and we (including me) are just too damn self-centered to see this.
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