Brunch(es)

This morning I had two brunches--one at Dolores Park Church (which I am starting to get into the practice of reattending) and one at the Storey-Cuddeback's house, celebrating their daughter, Sara's graduation. Both were really nice and I just feel so blessed to have these families who let me be a part of their lives. It's fun having three pseudo-younger sisters--Tali (who I teach violin to), Sara (Tali's sister, who I drive to soccer), and their friend Becca (who also graduated and who I drive to soccer). Becca's mom, Laurie offered their guest room to me in August once my lease runs up which I may take them up on in exchange for a meal here and there. Tonight Laure is taking me to a concert (some band she thinks I'll like) in Nob Hill for my birthday. And last night I had a great time playing cards with Chris and Dominique until the wee hours. I guess I'm just feeling generally blessed today.

Focus...

I feel I am in a transition period; no, I know I am. And while this could be liberating, I am feeling too free almost--like I am on the verge of being overwhelmed with the freedom given to me. It is now up to me to determine my direction as I rise from bed each morning; the things I will choose to read, to learn, to value. I think I am finally an adult and that takes getting used to. Though I have really only had a few days of summer (not counting my getaway to those states with their lakes and large clouds) I am trying to immediately develop the habits that I have longed to have but never formed because school or life always got in the way. I am finally free to work on me. And I am simultaneously filled with excitement and trepidation; experiencing both a calm understanding of what it is I must do and a steady anxiety over finding myself walking on foreign ground offering alien foliage and new vantage points.

I think if I can remove the anxiety, life will be as it is supposed to be. Though I guess it is always as it is supposed to be, with its phases of transition and steadiness, peaks and troughs--it is solely a matter of us understanding this and embracing our experiences. Certainly easier said than done!

My younger brother gave this to me; and I was both humbled (by him) and proud (of him):

'Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.'
Philippians 4:6-9

La comienza

"For here, there is no place that does not see you. You must change your life."
--Rainer Maria Rilke


(Self-portrait, Reflection in Weisman window taken 5 June 2007)